Main Menu

Parents suspecting ADHD must Read This!

View PDF | Print View
by: wahmbuddy
Total views: 92
Word Count: 1270

Everywhere I go these days it seems I hear somebody talking about ADHD. Children are being diagnosed and parents are at their wits end wondering what to do. Thinking that they aren't parenting properly. If I just try harder, more discipline, more love, more...something - I can make it go away, right? WRONG!

It's not that you are a bad parent. In fact you're a great parent because you are here trying to get information to help you help your child! Maybe your child hasn't even been diagnosed yet. They are just having trouble at school and you're looking for some answers. Well, this is a great place to get some.

If I seem passionate about ADHD, it's because I am. I have a son that was diagnosed with it about 5 years ago. He was really struggling and I was really looking for answers.

Parenting an ADHD child can be challenging on a good day! These are some ways I have found helpful in parenting a child with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. It is by no means an exhaustive list.

1. Realize that you are working with a disability. It helps me to take a step back and understand that a lot of the behaviors that my son exhibits are because of the ADHD, not because he is a "bad child" or because I'm a "bad parent". It's not like he "purposely" gobbles his supper, forgetting all the table manners that I teach him EVERYDAY. Nor is he trying to annoy me with the CONSTANT, ENDLESS chatter. That is the way he is, period!
2.Structure and Routine. Establishing a daily routine for your child is so very important. Children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder do not respond well to spontaneity or change. They like to know what is going to happen and at what time. We have a routine established in our home and try not to deviate from it. Even the order in which we get ready for school is not altered. If we plan to do something that is different than what is regularly "scheduled", I let my son know the day before and remind him a few times. This gives him a chance to prepare.
3. Organization and Time Management. I have a really big calendar that hangs in my kitchen. I put every activity on this calendar for each person in the home. If there is a special event coming up, a school activity, or even a friend coming over to visit I write it all down. It helps my son to be able to visualize. Every morning, he will go and check the calendar to see what's happening that day.
4. Be Consistent. It takes lot's more work, but being consistent with an ADHD child is very necessary. You need to be consistent in the daily routine and include logical consequences all the time. If "Tommy" does behavior A, he knows that consequence B is going to happen EVERY time. Give him one warning to stop the behavior and then have the consequence happen immediately. You also need to be consistent over the long haul in things you do. I have to remind my son everyday about his table manners. This likely won't change.
5. Avoid Power Struggles. Children with ADHD will often try to engage you in a debate. Do not do this. Instead give short direct answers and keep repeating them. Instead of raising your voice (to be sure you are heard), try lowering it.
6. When giving instruction, break bigger tasks into smaller more manageable tasks for your child. Instead of telling him to set the table, ask him to put the plates on. Once that is accomplished, put the forks and knives on and so on. Being given a big task is often to overwhelming for an ADHD child, if the task is broken into smaller bits, you will see a greater success of completing the task.
7. Be very specific when giving instructions. When giving instruction to a "normal" child, you might say "John, take out the garbage please" and John would know what to do. The garbage would end up in the appropriate receptacle outside. When giving instruction to an ADD child, you need to be specific in order to help your child successfully complete the task. "John, please tie up the garbage bag, bring it outside and put it in the silver can by the back gate."
8. Catch your child doing something good. Reward your child for the smallest things that they do correctly or without being prompted. A kind word, or pat on the back will go along way in helping your child repeat such behaviors.
9. Always show them love and respect and lead by example.
10. Provide an outlet for release of energy. Children that are hyperactive need a safe way to release some of that energy. Getting them involved in a sport such as Karate, or Tae Kwon Do is a constructive way to release energy. I have found that group sports don't work well.
11. Take some time for you. It is very important for you as the parent of an AD(H)D child to take a break. This could be Dad letting Mom have the night off to go out with a friend. It could be sending your children to Grandma's for a sleepover. It could be setting up a regular respite home that your child goes to for a weekend once each month. However you work it in, remember taking time for you, as a parent is not a bad thing. Having a chance to rest and relax will give you renewed energy, and allow you to give your best to your child.

So what are some common symptoms of children with ADD/ADHD?

Children with ADHD may exhibit some or all of the following symptoms:

Difficulty staying on task for long periods of time.
Difficulty following instructions.
Not listening when someone is speaking directly to them.
Fidgeting with hands and feet or "squirming".
Finding it difficult to sit still.
Easily distracted.
Interrupting conversations.
Blurting out answers before the questions are completed.
Difficulty waiting for a turn.
Talking excessively.
Not paying attention to details, making careless mistakes with homework.
No Fear Factor. Engaging in dangerous activities without regard for safety.
Does anything on this list scream "That's my Tommy"? If it does, take Tommy to the Doctor and get him checked out.

A word of caution here.... It is my opinion that a general physician can't/shouldn't make this diagnosis in a 15-minute appointment. They can't possibly gather enough information is that short a period of time. This is often the case though and you leave the doc's office with an Rx for Ritalin in hand feeling discouraged and overwhelmed.

What you need to do is get referred to a specialist in the area of ADHD and have some testing done before you accept that Tommy does in fact have ADHD.

I have found an excellent guide to help get you through this journey. It's a new book jammed with stuff YOU need to know. Take a look at it here.

You will learn so much more than I can give you in this short page.

These are just a few things that I have found to help me. I wish I would have found this A to Z Guide way back then. Take a look at the information and then get a copy for yourself. To me it's not even a question. Knowledge is power.

I hope this has been helpful.

All the best to you and your family,

Heather Masson
_________________